🛣 6 stops on the path to a better life
A little bit about how the journey has unfolded
It’s been just over a year since I left a full-time career in tech because the start up I worked for closed down, and it’s taken me just over a year to reroute myself towards a life that feels more sustainable and enjoyable.
Today’s newsletter is a little bit more on how that unfolded.
For some, leaving a job and taking a sabbatical is driven by burnout. The sabbatical is a carefully designed period of experimentation and playfulness, sometimes capped off with a meticulously selected job on the other end.
My story is not that type of unfolding. My story is not what I’d call a sabbatical.
The last 14 months, each month looked a bit different.
There was some money saved up, but it wasn’t for this. It was for a down payment on a house.
I didn’t chronicle anything on TikTok and go viral in the process.
My unfolding was just learning a bit more about what it’s like to be myself and be in my mind, body, and soul instead of pretending to be in someone else’s. My journey had both planned and unplanned stops along the way. My intention with sharing this is to show you that it’s okay not to tie everything up with a perfect bow.
Here are a few stops along the path of finding and defining what a “better life” looks like to me:
Stop #1: Get back to basics — babies and baking.
In the midst of saying goodbye to that company, a dear friend of mine had twins. I happily signed up for meal trains, hanging with her and two cuties during mat leave, and baking a treat each week to bring over. When you spend time with a baby, you really realize that nothing much else matters. You start learning about how the simple things actually mean a lot.
Babies are bundles of love from the moment they enter this world and they laugh, cry, smile, etc. whenever the hell they want. They aren’t holding anything in, so why should I?
This season made me realize a few things:
I really like feeling useful, which is a blessing and a curse.
The things that make me happy are pretty darn simple.
Stop #2: Take the bucket list trip.
A few months after I got my last paycheck, I set off on a ~2 month trip to Asia. Going back to Asia was the thing I always told myself I’d do if I had extended time off and a little bit of money to throw around, so I did it.
I explored Japan, Thailand, and Indonesia. I ate sushi to my heart’s content. I got scuba certified. I surfed reef breaks that people probably dream of. I had a great time. I left because I was looking for something and also running away from something. Spoiler: I didn’t find it and the thing I was running away from followed me from country to country.
Taking the big trip made me realize that I was escaping and searching for an answer externally, not internally. I thought the travel would save me, but it just made me feel even more lost.
Stop #3: Call a friend and admit you’re steps away from a breakdown.
I returned to my hometown last fall and spent my days walking around the neighborhood, chatting with friends. One day, in a particularly vulnerable moment, a friend asked how I was doing and I burst out in tears — “I think I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown.”
I remember that conversation so vividly because I don’t think I’d admitted to myself (or anyone else, for that matter) that my trip to Asia didn’t solve my problems. I felt ashamed that I didn’t find all the answers I was looking for on this grand adventure. I opened the dam, and even though I didn’t really ask for help, she offered it in a multitude of ways. And that was enough encouragement for me to start exploring what the hell I wanted to even do next.
Stop #4: Start experimenting.
With that encouragement, I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and committed to experimenting with a few paths:
Coaching — I’d been dabbling in this world for ~2 years, but could I make it a real job?
Counseling — I’ve had a bug in my ear about becoming a therapist for awhile now… is it something I really wanted to do and could emotionally handle?
Money — A girl has bills to pay!
For coaching, I launched a small group coaching offer for December of 2024, where I invited in a few past clients. Three beautiful humans signed up! I started taking 1-1 clients around the same time. I remembered (yet again) that I love doing this kind of work, and I’m good at it.
For counseling, I started talking to any therapist I could to learn about their experience with grad school and the profession. I became a Crisis Text Line volunteer. I started working at Equip, a company that offers virtual care for eating disorders. These small and big experiments taught me about the world of psychology and which aspects I enjoyed vs. didn’t. I also learned a lot of new acronyms!
For money, I secured a few design clients, did a bit of travel advising, and even signed up to be a dog sitter on Rover. I’m still doing the first two, but I learned after sitting for a very cute and sweet Labrador / Great Pyrenees mix that dog sitting was not my (financial) calling.
Treating these things as experiments allowed me to be a little more playful with my commitments and also be okay stopping them, which is a perfect segue to…
Stop #5: Stop doing something.
When you’re partially employed and actively experimenting with multiple paths, it’s easy to commit to doing everything and anything for everyone and yourself. In the spirit of experimenting, I had to cut certain things off once I felt like my interest was waning or the results weren’t meaningful enough to keep going.
I signed up for a 75 day art challenge and quit after the second week. I stopped writing this newsletter for ~6 months. I stopped going to yoga in service to a new movement modality that felt better for my body.
Closing the loop where I needed to was a freeing way to try new things or just give myself a break. I captured all my experiments in a Notion template so I could see how many active experiments I had at one time. This visual helped me notice when I might be over-extending myself and reign it in by ending an experiment, if so.
Stop #6: Get support along the way.
In November of 2024, I started my second year of a life mastery program with a coach I’ve been working with for 2+ years. I spent one weekend a month for the last 9 months with six other women who have become a powerful community for me. They are a sounding board, support system, and deeply inspiring in how they navigate their own lives.
Whilst being partially employed, a coach is a big financial commitment. For me, it’s been really integral to staying on the path that I want for my life and to become a person that I’m in love with. It’s not always fun or easy, but I can’t speak to my evolution over the past two years without tipping my hat to her and the community she’s built. Thank you, S.
I’d also be remiss if I didn’t mention the support from my partner, my family, and my friends during this season. I love you all from the bottom of my heart. Thank you. 🫶
While these are six stops, they are certainly not the only ones, nor is the journey over. I’m still defining what “a better life” looks like and this year plus of experimenting isn’t yet over, and that’s okay.
My hope is to keep exploring and processing in the coming months, hopefully sharing more of that with you all.
🎯 Goal Crafting sessions through the end of the year are on the calendar! RSVP for one!
💛 Make today fun. I’ve been reading
’s new book, Today Was Fun, and it’s full of great nuggets about creating a new relationship to work. Highly recommend.🖋️ These are the best pens. I just bought a 12 pack of Sharpie S-Gel pens and I don’t think I ever need to use a different pen ever again.
Been listening to a lot of instrumental lately. Here’s a new fave:
And the playlist for ya.
Lots of love,
Zoë
👋 P.S. I have two spots available for 1-1 coaching. Just reply to this email if you're curious, and we'll get some time on the calendar to chat about what's present for you right now and how I can help.
Zoë, what a beautiful journey!! And I'm so happy you've been loving the book :)
As always, your honesty and journey are inspiring! Thanks for sharing my friend, love you.